It was at this moment that I decided to switch off Apple News notifications on the phone


I think I need notifications about jumping invasive worms near me, though.

I think the appropriate sound would be “BOOIIIINGGG”


Sounds like that scene from the end of the dream by Philip Wylie, where invasive worms basically eat Miami and Dade County.

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This is important news!

I’ve never had Apple News notifications turned on. I absolutely do not want to have my workflow interrupted by some “fake crisis” or clickbait news headlines. I’ll check the news when I’m ready to give it my full attention. News organizations are notoriously bad at calling most everything a crisis. I wish I had a nickel for every time I read the word crisis and a news article or headline. I would be a very wealthy man.