How can I combine two iPhone photo libraries (mine with wife’s)?

I have a big library of photos and used to manage them from my mac. I would sync my wife’s iPhone to my mac every couple weeks/months and import new. Now, with no mac I have found our libraries are growing and growing apart. I would like to combine them.
It seems weird that my option is to send her photos to my device… this doubles my use of our iCloud space and is slow, manual and goofy.
I could create shared Libraries, but again, manual, slow, goofy and seems to be limited to 5K photos per shared library.
I would prefer to stay in the apple eco system. I like the privacy (assuming it works) and the capability to tag, see faces, places and memories (do you all find memories are awesome?).
Any options out there or alt to setups?
I use myID, wife uses herID. We are in a family share group… and need to keep our IDs separate.


Why Not just use google photos ?

Outside of the Apple ecosystem, tagging, faces, etc. Plus very much do not trust Google.

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This is what I do -

  1. Download photos to a common shared folder on my computer both mine and my wife’s. Yes we do sit together once a month or two and go through the photos.
  2. Use PhotoMechanic/Lightroom to cull and finalize the images I want. Most of them go to trash like multiple shots taken, burst mode, duplicates between two cameras etc.
  1. Upload to Smugmug and they stay there for ever and are accessible by both os us and we can share the link to family and friends.
  2. I can have galleries of those taken only by me and one only by her.

Its elaborate process, but it works as a backup for us and also organized out of Apple Eco systems onto an independent platform.

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This should run over your LAN and be faster than a cloud-based solution.

Plus PhotoSync is one of those utilities that you’ll always find new uses for.

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I also use PhotoSync, My wife and I copy locally to my media server, then cloud Backup using backblaze.

We do also upload the combined photos to Google Photos, but always wondering if that is the best choice.

Will see if I can make this work. No Mac anymore so I’m going phone to phone. I did add a HD to my network so that might be an interesting thing to experiment with.

Good luck. I’ve been trying to find a good solution for the past 13 years! My current solution involves Dropbox on her iPhone syncing her photos to a shared folder when she enters the geofence of our home (and thus on Wifi), then using Hazel to import those into my Photos library and then moving them to a folder on my NAS (just in case of a problem).

I don’t have a Mac. Used to and considering it again for just this. Went all iOS about a year back.

I feel like w/o Apple solving this I just have two libraries where they both grow with duplicates when either of us shares to the other.

Apple has to know this experience is awful. Have you ever submitted an ask for this to be cleaned up?