The recent WSJ article, How People Decided It’s OK to Wear AirPods Anywhere, Anytime, addresses a serious issue about AirPods and social norms, but I had to laugh at this:
When co-workers ask the HR department for its verdict on the employee’s behavior, HR’s response is “Honestly, we stopped trying to make rules for people in 2021. We’re just grateful he wears pants.”
There was truth in this. It is a reaction to a growing cultural antinomianism.
I understand the problem. I listen to podcasts, audio books, even TV news (via YouTube TV streaming on my iPad) while I work, or clean around the house. And I listen to podcasts when driving or walking for exercise. Fortunately Siri can still play/pause and adjust volume because I pause playback when traffic gets heavy or it starts to rain, etc.
I remove the left one when in a drive-through and both when entering a store or church, etc. And I never wear them when I’m with people.
I would have helped the employee who got in trouble when he lost his AirPod in the customer’s bag of food. I worked for a major grocery chain my last two years of high school until I finished college, and know what it’s like starting out.
One of the problems I see with always being “plugged in” is that we make no room for mental whitespace. In doing so, I believe we end up shortchanging ourselves. For what it’s worth, here is an article I wrote recently on the value of leaders creating mental white space.
Note: while the title and some of the content reflect a religious perspective, the core arguments transcend those commitments. Mental whitespace is essential for all of us—regardless of our beliefs or lack thereof.
I completely agree with you. I’m as much of a tech nerd as they come, but this really matters. When I take my dog for a walk, I never wear my AirPods—there’s something special about connecting with nature.
I think it’s worth making space just to be.
I was scrolling down this post chomping at the bit to make this exact post. I find that I do take my AirPods in their case and put them my pocket when I take the dog out, but never once have I ever put them in my ears. It doesn’t seem right, but not in a judgy way… just for me. (I also don’t wear sunglasses with the dog so that we can maintain our connection.)
I’m okay with people wearing AirPods in public, and seeing them so prevalent is probably what convinced me to buy them so many years ago. I know with Apple’s tools (like conversation awareness), people are probably hearing what I’m saying when we talk.
I
JUST
CAN’T
BRING
MYSELF
TO
DO
IT.
I feel weird with AirPods in my ears when I’m trying to communicate with other people, even if I don’t have anything on that I’m listening to. So, I just don’t. Everyone else, you are welcome to, I don’t find it bothersome.
I do—but as you say, not in a “judgy” sort of way. 
For me, the issue is not merely whether the AirPod wearer is listening to the other person (hopefully they are), but whether the other person knows they have your full attention—not just your partial attention. It seems the better part of courtesy to ensure that those speaking with you know you respect them enough to physically demonstrate it by removing the AirPods. They shouldn’t have to assume or hope that they have your attention.
Again, I’m not judging, but I am encouraging us to elevate our demonstrated respect for others by removing the AirPods—not merely prioritizing our personal preferences.
But, this is hardly a hill I’m willing to die on!
Hmmm, I just realized I’m not completely consistent. When I’m on a flight, I usually have my AirPods in and don’t listen to the safety instructions—after all, I’ve heard them ten thousand times. But if I’m to be consistent, I should remove the AirPods and listen—not because I need the information, but as a sign of respect for the poor flight attendant who’s giving those instructions for the millionth time. Looks like I have room for improvement.
Totally agree. In a second order derivative, I believe that having constant music put into your ears makes the act of listening to music less intentional and thus less enjoyable. I understand colleagues when they say they cannot get “in the zone” without music. For me it’s exactly the other way around: if I’m listening to music, I will make sure I’m paying all my attention to it.
I agree. But after 20 years, and a few thousand miles on the same trail, nature and I don’t have as many secrets. 
I use white noise when I need to focus intently on my work.
I was thinking about this very problem this week when I heard it talked about on a podcast. Every (week)day I go for a short walk mid-morning to get a hot chocolate. Every time I have my AirPods in. I don’t have a problem with it and neither, it seems, do the baristas.
Here’s why I think it’s not a problem in this case.
First, as I enter the cafe, I reach up to click and then to hold to both pause the music/podcast and to turn on transparency. This is an obvious action that they often see me do. They don’t need to know what I’m doing, just that I am aware of the things in my ears and to some extent I’m signaling to them as well.
Second, I hold a normal conversation with them. Not only in getting my order in but also making general chitchat. How is it rude that I have these things in my ears if it makes no difference at all to our interactions?
Also… these things have accessibility roles now, so who would you feel more comfortable if they were playing that part?
As is often the case with technology, it’s not the technology that is the problem.
Having moved back into a town after spending five years living in a village in the countryside, I find myself wearing my airpod pros a lot when I am out and about locally. It’s so loud and unpleasant to have to walk alongside busy roads to get anywhere and even when I can get away from the main routes, I find that the urban/suburban sound background is tiring, and that includes in shops and cafes.
Part of that is that, like about half of over 60s, I have some hearing loss and background noise makes it so much harder to listen for anything important (like what the barista is saying).
I perfectly understand people preferring to listen to something of their choice and to use airpods to boost their hearing - just as I use hearing aids normally.
Fortunately, it’s very easy to get to the sea or out into amazing countryside from here, and then I want nothing between me and natural sounds.
Depends on the music, and why I’m listening to it. There’s a whole range from “background to what I am doing now” to “earth-shattering emotional and spiritual experience” - IMHO we need all of it.
Generally speaking, I agree. However, there is one possibility that you are forgetting here. Now that AirPods can be used as over-the-counter hearing aids, in some cases, it is possible that some are giving you their full attention only by leaving their AirPods in. Of course, you will know whether that is the case with your friends and family, but not so much with others. That said, I think it is probably safe to assume that most are not making use of that feature. However, I would hate to create an environment where those who need the hearing aid feature feel uncomfortable using it.
I wear my Shokz OpenComm headset around. I do have the potential of getting calls at just about any time that MUST be addressed (pretty much) immediately, but having the Shokz allows me to mute or unmute the phone depending on my environment and still have a non-audio, non-buzz (at least to people other than me) notification.
However, there is one possibility that you are forgetting here. Now that AirPods can be used as over-the-counter hearing aids, in some cases, it is possible that some are giving you their full attention only by leaving their AirPods in … I would hate to create an environment where those who need the hearing aid feature feel uncomfortable using it.
You are absolutely correct. I was not taking into account the use of AirPods as hearing aids. And I would never want anyone to feel uncomfortable wearing them—particularly if they are being used for that purpose. I hope that neither I nor anyone else would convey disapproval toward someone wearing AirPods.
While you’re right that I did not consider the hearing aid function, I did not intend to suggest that we should express our feelings about the matter to someone wearing them. That would be both disrespectful and hypocritical.
My intent was to encourage habits of courtesy—by showing that we are giving the person with whom we are speaking our undivided attention by removing our own AirPods. I think we can—and perhaps ought to—remove them (unless used as hearing aids) without implying criticism toward others who choose differently.
Thank you for the clarification and challenge.
My little etiquette rule is to take out one for the conversation. If it’s something where they are to the left or right of me I take out the one closest to them. I’m certainly willing to take out both but it’s not always easy to do, e.g. if one hand is free and someone suddenly starts talking to me while I’m walking.
It’s good to not have audio going all the time, too, but I still find it hard to exercise intensely without some distraction. It’s easier to just enjoy my surroundings on walks.
Not always possible (try juggling young children and shopping!) but I agree.
From my experience, the very best way to do this is to look at the person you are speaking with. Now that I struggle with hearing, I am shocked at how often people say things to me while looking at something or someone else, and without realising that they are. It usually means I can’t see their lips and that usually means I can’t hear them.
As my hearing gradually deteriorated, I was compensating by reading lips without realising I was doing so. Everyone is always subconsciously looking for cues and hints to make sense of conversation - it’s never just hearing - and most people are doing at least some lip-reading too.
I’m happy for someone to leave their ear buds in, or even to have over the ear headphones on, but I can easily tell whether they are listening and paying attention to me or not.
Been there, done that!
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I am shocked at how often people say things to me while looking at something or someone else, and without realising that they are.
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Interesting. I may not be observant enough, but that’s not something I’ve noticed. Perhaps I’m just especially attractive and fascinating, so I manage to hold everyone’s undivided attention. 
On a serious note, I’ll start paying closer attention to see if I notice this behavior.
Based on your comments—and those of others—it seems my concern about courtesy in this matter may be overwrought. But over-the-ear headphones? That feels a bit over the top. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.
We had this discussion for the first time here in Germany back in the 1980s, when in-ear headphones became the cool standard for mobile music listening. Back then, you predominantly saw young people who, while out with their friends, kept at least one earphone in, sometimes both. Close friends would even share a pair of headphones if the cables were long enough. Even then, this behavior was considered rude by the parent and grandparent generations. And although I was a teenager myself during that time, I could understand this assessment. This still holds true today. For me, it’s an act of courtesy to signal my undivided attention to whoever I’m communicating with. And that’s impossible when I’m exposed to another source of information. The message this sends is: “This communication via my headphones is at least as important as you are, if not more so, since I can’t interrupt it for you.” Naturally, situations where headphones serve as hearing aids are explicitly excluded (though this is still rare here in Germany, at least). At minimum, one side of the headphones should be removed, ideally on the side facing the person you’re speaking with. And no, I wouldn’t openly suggest to someone wearing headphones that they remove them. But I also wouldn’t make any effort to help them hear me better if they were having trouble due to their in-ears.
Fundamentally, though, I want to express again how enriching I find this forum. The range of topics covered here, the depth with which they’re treated, and the respect shown in dealing with one another even when holding controversial positions (see, for example, the discussion of Protestant work ethic—and this in a technology forum!) is something very special.
Long before I lost any hearing, I worked for eight years in a very large high school that had incorporated a school for the deaf so that deaf students were part of “mainstream” classes where appropriate and with support from specialists. We had a lot of eye-opening training from the teachers of the deaf and their assistants, but most importantly from the deaf students who were expected to politely inform teachers whose behaviours or habits made things difficult for them. Interestingly, students who were not deaf would be equally protective of their classmates’ needs and so you became very sensitive to things like not putting your hand in front of your face while talking, not speaking over your shoulder when asked a question, making sure you put key words in writing and not just spelling them out aloud etc…
Even so, as my hearing deteriorated, I was and still am surprised how many people look somewhere else when they are speaking to you.