I have just found the following software (Mac only right now), Alto Computer. alto computer
This app is amazing. It allows you to command+shift+X and it makes an apple notes link (to embed in another app, aka calendar, etc). You can also command+shift+K and it will make a new reminder with the link embedded to the apple note. There are also buttons that appear at the bottom of the apple note with these options, but also show backlinks and allow templates.
Also an exporter that you can pay for to markdown or donate, but otherwise functionality is free.
The pain that it has been to try to get an apple notes link (see previous post Linking to an Apple Note seems solved on Mac for now.