Feeling a pull for Facebook

Hi there,

I left Facebook around 2/3 month ago. Suddenly Facebook started to send ads into YouTube, however that’s not causing anything. But, while reading webpages and watching YouTube videos I miss sharing some interesting stuff with my circle and see some interesting stuff sometimes they post. How can I fight with the pull to go back? Maybe is because we are on lockdown? Need help to understand to try and fight it :slight_smile:.


Hi Luis
I’m interested to hear why you left Facebook in the first place. Do those reasons still hold for you? Or has something changed?

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I left fb abruptly almost 2 years ago and recently have the same urge to reconnect with people I didn’t tell and lost touch with.

I just don’t like the company and when I asked for the data they held it was an 8GB zip file and included loads of stuff I thought I’d deleted. It was nuts.

As far as I can tell nothing has changed and they’re still up to some nefarious stuff. So my stance should remain the same.
Maybe there should be a group for ex-facebookers :joy:


As long as it’s not a Facebook Group. :wink:


Facebook (and social media) speaks to two fundamental human urges:

  • Sharing stuff and getting feedback
  • Staying in the loop of what’s going on (we are a novelty-seeking species)

The answer for me was to replace those two things with healthier habits. The former: endeavoring to contribute more value on various forums. The latter: get more privileged interactions with the people in my life and binge on RSS feeds.


Some years ago researchers discovered that photos they had uploaded to Facebook, and later deleted, were still online years later. They could viewed/downloaded IF you still had the link. Apparently FB wasn’t deleting anything, only removing the links.

It actually goes far beyond this, and I would urge people to watch The Social Dilema.

I closed my account 2 years ago, but reopened after a few months of pandemic, as I felt out of the loop with friends I love. When a couple of them became sick, that was the tipping point. Fortunately, they recovered, and no losses yet.

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I dealt with this by using text messaging instead. That said, I have a locked down Facebook page and the only people on it are my daughters and my wife. I have no intention of adding anyone else or following anything else. And, I probably check Facebook perhaps once a month and frankly probably for no longer than about 10 minutes. So for me, it is not an issue.


I’ve been off Facebook for about 2.5 years at this point and I’m not sure I’m “missing” anything - except for a lot of drama. Long before The Social Dilemma on Netflix, I was acutely aware of how strange it seemed that I would just endlessly scroll and scroll. Cal Newport’s “Digital Minimalism” sealed the deal for me in most aspects, though I keep Twitter for some Apple-related info and Japanese YouTube accounts.

During pandemic, it’s natural to want to reach out to see others virtually I think, but the algorithm inherent in the system are built to keep you engaged by any means necessary, but a lot of the ways they do that are poisonous to a healthy outlook.


And I’d add that much of cable news does the same thing and is bad for one’s overall wellbeing. I don’t watch cable news (been off of it for ~ two years). I get my news via “digital-print” newspapers and journals. The coverage is deeper, is generally less sensational and I can strive to balance left, center, and right leaning publications to help “ensure” I get as balanced and comprehensive perspective as possible.

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I left It because of the tracking of the company. That is one of my main concern and is the heavy one that makes me stay off. In addition because I am really passionate about politics and was arguing with people about things I should not and that was making me feel bad. Also I was using they service already as of a kind of first thing on the morning and last thing I the night.

However, even when I was using it, I do not feel that using the service for an hour daily was much, I was using screen time to make sure to comply on this.

However, I am not someone that is used to call my family. We are more about when we see each other but on Facebook I feel we were more engage. I had a personal rule, not use like or reaction, I commented on the things I found interesting in order to provide the personal touch.

I really do not want to go back, but the pull is crazy. Seems the service is done right and the pull is part of it.

IMHO this is precisely why you need to resist. It is like a drug. The urge will pass. The less you think and write about it the better. :slight_smile:

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Both Facebook and Twitter provide value for me, so I’m not willing to quit either one, but Facebook in particular also provides too much drama at times, and I found myself mindlessly scrolling both (and overriding my Screen Time limits, especially in advance of the election).

So I added more friction. The apps no longer live on my mobile devices, so I have to use a browser. That forces me to be more intentional about my use, and it seems to be helping.

Thanks ! I will !!!

I want to make a plug for micro.blog. It’s social media without the evil. The trick is to convince friends to join you there but failing that, there’s a kind community there already.

I wish I could muster the courage to log off, and stay off of Facebook. I wouldn’t hesitate in staying away.

It is like Hotel California. Once you login you can’t logout.

Facebook reveals a lot of stupidity. It reveals a lot of what people believe as gospel. I look at it all and shake my head. Then this election cycle they were obnoxious about the voting information.

Sorry, Facebook. You screwed it up four years ago. Screwed up to the point of no redemption. They lacked any standing with me this year. I really, really, really hate Facebook. The other alternatives are also absurd.

Guys - you can do it if you want. Facebook kindly provides an option where you can deactivate the account indefinitely without deleting it. Try it. Just deactivate it - you even keep access to Messenger. Remove the apps everywhere. See how it goes. It’s marvelous being without this horrible chain. And then, when you’re good, you can delete your account for good. If you’re not, you can always come back.

It’s unimaginable the amount of focus and joy I got back in my life ever since I left those « social » machines of misery and anger. Yesterday someone sent me a thread that was of professional importance but getting back there and seeing the nonsense just gave me the feeling I had swallowed poison - the same poison I used to voluntarily inflict myself dozens of time per day.

Life is possible without Facebook. Frankly, it’s even awesome. Take care of yourselves.


I think the groups are quite useful

I tried that (just deactivating but keeping messenger) but people were sending me stuff like “Look at what so-and-so said! Can you believe that?” Lol. There was no escape.

I get what you’re saying, but ultimately leaving the platform was what was best for me, I believe.

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Oh, I commend you for leaving, it’s even better (and done!)
Just saying this for people who are anxious about what that change may bring. You can try being without Facebook. :slightly_smiling_face: