I know this isn’t a software topic, but I’m not sure where to put it otherwise.
I’ve been on this forum for a long time now. Far more this year than previously, I find myself starting to respond to people, and my instinct kicks in and I delete the response I’d already typed.
Sitting back today, I tried to get to the bottom of why that was.
Firstly, I feel like I’m often repeating myself, or straying into topics which we’ve covered far too often here.
Secondly, I feel that I’m a bit older and I can see the rabbit hole of replies I’m opening and I’m not ready to go there
Finally, I feel like some people take some of the things I say as an attack on their positions. Challenging and debating are very different to ‘calling someone out’ and far too often I feel that I’ve been misunderstood (I guess that’s the risk with pure text)
I don’t think that the Forum has changed massively, but I thought it was interesting to throw my ponderings out there and see if it reflects anyone else’s feelings.
I do love this place, it’s a great community full of people willing to share and enjoy (that’s a reference)
I’ve considered putting my often said replies in a document, and then paste in the appropriate text into new threads instead of writing from scratch. This would be particularly useful for some of the images that I’ve repeatedly pasted such as my vintage keyboard, dual display setup, and Mac mini server computer.
I had an extensive, important follow up. But, after review, I deleted it.
I find myself facing some of what you post in a classroom after a few decades of teaching. The same three things … feeling that I am repeating myself, hesitating to avoid rabbit holes (thus seeming to be unable to give a “simple”, direct answer), and worrying that my response will be taken as an attack on intelligence (making the person asking feel “stupid”). I oft now wonder if my audience of students has changed or if I was always a blunt, Yankee curmudgeon in a southern town, only now the students are less forgiving about it.
I also see the same in some research areas that I explore. Processes that were once well-appreciated seem to have faded, only to return as new ideas in a different way.
I share your sentiments, too. I have a series of apple notes of draft posts that I decided to abandon because I didn’t want to start a whole thing.
Also, I do find myself covering the same ground so much I’ve taken to searching my old posts/comments before I undertake writing something I feel in the moment is original, but in fact I said exactly the same way 18 months ago.
In fairness, I’ve probably sometimes been the guy to respond to what may have seemed like an unfair challenge to something I or someone else wrote. On the other hand, I’ve also caught and deleted many of those before hitting send. (I’ve also received many a defensive response; so, I’ve been on both sides.)
The thing is, I really like this forum and the regulars who post here. I don’t mind, and actually appreciate the banter. I’ve even gotten to meet some of you in real life.
Personally, @geoffaire , I’m grateful you are here, I appreciate your contributions, I have enjoyed the points that we agree on, and I’ve given a lot of thought on the points on which we have different perspectives. I hope you’re not feeling discouraged, we’d be poorer if you held back your wisdom.
Your friend from the sunny beaches of Los Angeles,
Far more this year than previously, I find myself starting to respond to people, and my instinct kicks in and I delete the response I’d already typed.
@geoffaire, I think your restraint shows prudence and respect for others. The habit of pausing, reflecting, and deleting a response, which we all have done, makes this forum refreshingly different and better than much of social media. Two verses (there are others) in Proverbs speak to the wisdom of restraint in what we say: “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent” (Proverbs 10:19). Conversely, “Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him” (Proverbs 29:20). Another says, “Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent” (Proverbs 11:12).
Challenging and debating are very different to ‘calling someone out’
In an article I recently wrote about the US election, I said, “There is a crucial difference between debating ideas and debasing people.” The participants in this forum heartily debate ideas, workflows, applications, and more but rarely cross the line into debasing or disrespecting others.
We have all experienced a few sharp elbows on occasion. That is to be expected. I try not to let that bother me. Over the years, I’ve learned to develop alligator skin while maintaining a tender heart. And we all must guard against too quickly taking offense or assuming the worst interpretation of a comment.
As to repeating ourselves, I can’t imagine any of us would be guilty of that!
So, keep reading, keep writing, keep debating; you are a valuable and respected member of this forum!
The other thing - not to be ignored - is that you’ve gotten the value out of writing the response, even if it’s never posted. Whether it winds up being valuable to others, it’s usually valuable to the author due to the requirement to articulate and clarify thoughts.
Although I’d feel negligent if I didn’t re-link this form letter from Robert Heinlein:
I think I’ve been on this forum for more than 4 years (or that’s what I understand my anniversary badges mean) and the feeling is similar.
How many times should I jump into a “DEVONthink vs Obsidian” discussion? How many times should I enumerate the reasons why I think Strongbox is the best password manager for me? Or News Explorer as the best RSS reader? What about the never ending discussions about how much RAM should a Mac have?
What was once a vibrant and interesting conversation becomes repeating itself after all this time. I think at some point it feels like I am repeating myself in many topics, but I like to think that repeating my thoughts is not bad per se because perhaps some future visitor will find this particular MPU thread and find my comment useful, or perhaps another forum member may find the ocasion to give another perspective.
In the end, and this is my particular take, I decided to strive to keep posting on threads I am interested with, no matter if those are beaten paths. I am a fast typist, after all
Of course for those of us around for years the Q&A will be repetitive, but for anyone that is new, answers to their questions will be refreshing. And the state of computing and Apple do change over time so old answers often will no longer apply. I consider this to be a teaching/learning experience. I taught mostly the same subjects for 25 years and while it did get repetitive the students were new every year and that’s what kept it exciting.
Just to add to the many excellent points everyone has made above, I think it’s inevitable that whenever enthusiasts or hobbyists get together in person or online, they’re going to end up talking about some of the same stuff over and over.
Partly it’s because different people come and go in the group (and the new people often ask similar questions over and over), and partly it’s because they just enjoy chatting repeatedly about the things they’re passionate about. There’s nothing wrong with that, and it spares our non-techie families and friends from having to listen to us talk about stuff they could care less about.
If after hanging out here a while we find we’re sometimes repeating ourselves about a field where new devices, apps, workflows, etc. are continually emerging and existing ones changing, imagine how repetitive things get in a forum for, say, classic car enthusiasts.
I know what you mean about feeling ‘called out’ rather than ‘debated with’.
As long as I can remember… pretty much since the web got even vaguely mainstream it’s been happening. For a time, and still occasionally now, I think I was/am part of the problem and I honestly think we all do it at times. Some more than others.
I’ve had the same 'it’s not worth it" pattern of thinking for a decade or more now.
The ones that really annoy me are:
“The sky is red.”
“I think it’s pretty well agreed the sky is blue.”
“Why do you hate skies?”
.
