Read and watch enough celebrity interviews, and the lesson becomes obvious: that the most powerful and connected device in your life shouldn’t be within arm’s reach at all times. All that does is invite distraction and makes it too easy to disengage from your life every time you get bored or sad or curious even for a second. Anything you can do to move that stuff a little farther away and make it a little harder to get to is a small victory over the always-on allure of your devices.
It sounds a little like I’m advocating for the return of the ’90s, when the computer was a giant box that lived in a central room of your home and the only way to use it was to go to it. And to some extent, I am! I’m increasingly convinced that my primary computer should be a device I use on purpose — that I sit down at, operate, and then extract myself from until the next time. Whether it’s a laptop on a desk or an iPad on your nightstand, your computer should be a place as much as it is a device. And when you’re not in that place, you’re somewhere else. The computer doesn’t come along.
Getting rid of my iPhone is too drastic, but I do like Cal Newport’s Phone Foyer suggestion. When you get home, put the iPhone in your foyer and leave it there until you leave the house again.
Great articles, unfortunately, I think it really depends on what you do for a living that can have an impact on this. However, I think a good set of rules can be applied as well, the same way we have boundaries with people, we should have boundaries with tech.
Example: Have a cut-off time of ‘stop checking phone, responding to people, etc’ - In the old days, the house phone stopped ringing after 8pm/9pm unless it was an emergency. Apply the same to cell-phone (as a whole).
In this current instant gratification, high-paced society we live in, technology evolved quickly in the last few years, but many people didn’t discuss boundaries, limits, etc.
TV and Radio stations (before things became 24/7) also had limits, ah the past - we can learn so much.
Yes, the evils of technology. We were warned by the ancient Greeks …
In Plato’s Phaedrus, Socrates calls into question the propriety and impropriety of writing. Throughout his discussion with a colleague, Socrates insists that writing destroys memory and weakens the mind.
I suspect that N years from now (insert your own value for N, mine is <= 10), this will be a non-issue, and most folks will wonder what the fuss was about.
But then, I don’t use social media, nor doom scroll the news, or wake up to “50+ texts”.
Whatever happened to personal discipline? I can easily put away all my devices in the evening and enjoy time with my family, but it appears like this young generation cannot do that at all. They are addicted.
Completely. Even when out with an iPhone, I think small things I do matter, towards that end. If I want to look up something with my phone, I usually excuse myself and turn or move away. If I’m pulling out my phone in front of someone, I usually say why, e.g., “I’m going to make a note to order that book.”
When I put the phone down and step back into the conversation or bring my face back up to meet theirs, I’m closing that small context I created.
I always have my phone close, but I don’t play games or use social media. My emails are sorted on the server and very few land in my Inbox. I only accept calls/texts from contacts and can normally deal with most notifications and reminders on my Apple Watch. So my phone can stay in my pocket.
When I have work to do I use my iPad Pro, which is normally with arm’s reach.
I have realized that it’s been a couple of months since Idon’t play casual games on my iPhone anymore --used to be a huge Clash Royale addict. I do my casual Instagram sweep in the morning and in the night, but not during the day. Twitter receives a little bit more attention during dead times and I engage in the occasional thread. The rest of the day my iPhone works as a communication device: Messages, Chat and Phone. Some days I like to think of it as a camera so I take more artsy photos. Don’t use Reddit or browse MPU with my phone, probably because my poor eyesight don’t make it enjoyable even on the bigggest screen Apple offers.
That’s it. My main media consumption device is a very old 2012 Mac Mini that gets used as a media player and for YouTube during the weekends.
I think the “digital transformation” has gone full circle and we all noticed the free ride was not free at all. We thought having more connected screens would be fun only to find out that our data is being collected and the big content dealers just demand more and more of our time. Cal Newport was the first and most vocal, but the first cohort of digital boomers has already noticed that doomscrolling short videos amounts to nothing but wasted time.
It will be interesting to see how newer generations realize this and the impact it has in the tech industry as a whole.
I forget about devices once I get home, and focus on my family. I thought most people were like this but I must be wrong.
I intentionally don’t keep my mobile in my pocket or an iPad in hand all the time and put them all in my office when I’m not working. This means I have to physically go there to use them, and I like it this way. If I get the urge to check email or scroll the news, I don’t usually do it as I would have to go to another room.
I’ve seen some friends who use phones all the time, especially younger ones who are active on social media. It just makes me sad when I invite someone over for a meal or meet them at a restaurant, and all they do is scroll and look things up on their phones. In fact, I see it as downright rude and usually only invite them once if this is how they behave. It’s like the new cigarette, as people seem to pull them out whenever there is a free moment to kill time, and it is not a sociable habit that others appreciate. I feel sorry for those people, as it just looks like they are desperately addicted to technology.
IMO, two of the most important things to do in a conversation is to listen and maintain eye contact. The first is to learn what the other person has to say, the second to assure them that you are paying attention. It’s a sign of respect.
This is why I’m becoming increasingly interested in dedicated e-ink type devices (and stationery, but that’s a whole other rabbit hole I won’t go down here). I used to have a Remarkable but I sold it for a Kindle Scribe. I think the pandemic/remote working broke my brain a bit and I gravitate toward dedicated devices to gather my thoughts for projects and such with the convenience of cloud saves and software. For writing, I took social media off my iPad, turned on greyscale mode, and connected a bluetooth keyboard to it for a digital typewriter-like experience. I increasingly see people longing for something similar.
I used to be better about it, but I have a repeating event on my calendar called 7th Week Sabbatical. My original intent was just to have a dedicated time to unplug, and I forget exactly why I landed on an every 7 weeks cadence. During the sabbatical, I use as little technology as possible; no podcasts, little to no music, no TV/movies, nothing on the internet that isn’t work related, no RSS, etc. It’s books and I do use my outliner tool, Workflowy, working on personal projects I’ve neglected.
When I do it, I see it coming on the calendar, so I try to wrap up any shows or podcasts I’m in the middle of prior to the week, then during the week, I know there’s an end date so it makes it a bit easier to follow through. Just setting up those guardrails, I’m very aware every time I am tempted to peruse the internet casually. And I do feel a little more clear-headed by the end of the week.
Just thought I’d throw that example out there, again, I don’t follow the schedule as routinely as my pre-kid self, but it is just something in my life to provide a reorienting…since I don’t have an assistant or manager to handle my digital life for me yet
As someone who lives with an autistic individual, eye contact has become significantly less important to me as it can be difficult and upsetting for some neurodivergent folks. This depends on the individual of course.
Actually listening, though, is the most important part of conversation IMHO.
Another “blame it on the iPhone” story… As always, it depends on your usage, I say.
Of course it is good to disconnect from work, email, endless video streams and incoming messages for a good chunk of time. Most of this can be managed through “Focus Modes” now.
However, “the device” has become an everything machine these days. I use it for music. A lot. That’s recreational and relaxing for me, as are audio books and podcasts. I love the new “action button” that gives me an even more useful flashlight. I never expected I use it as much as I have. Very practical, I’ve found. Some notifications are critical - those I keep in Due, for remembering to take the bins to the curb every two weeks, medication etc.
Choosing to watch TV without the Callsheet app, Wikipedia and a maps app handy, that’s just not me
Do those advocating we “leave our iPhone in the foyer” still have landline phones scattered around their house? How do they stay in touch with family, friends, and work emergencies?
We kind of do that Cal Newport recommendation, although I heard it somewhere else. In my case:
no landlines
phone can be heard ringing in the main area of the house
I keep mine upstairs at night in case someone breaks in downstairs. Family would try both me and my wife in emergencies. If, say, a child is out late, we stay more available
Work emergency availability is negotiated and I am more reachable during those periods
