Pour one out for Quorm

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I appreciate that he tried to make it work. Noticed him proactively deleting a lot more posts that might have been construed as debates in the last year or so. Appreciate the effort. We’re all trying to fly high on that All Time users leaderboard without burning our wings. :angel:

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Can even a minor insight be shared for those not seeing what may have been clear for others? We hope no tragedy has occurred in any case.


JJW

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Am I the only one who thinks this was an overreaction? Am surprised by the level of sensitivity here seeing some of the posts that I perceived as curt in the past.

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I agree. I went back to read the thread in question and was surprised how intensely both parties reacted. Leaving seems unnecessary, so hopefully something else was going on and I hope with time he’ll come back.

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No tragedy. He made a flippant comment that both expressed a preference and could have been taken as a criticism of a company that another user volunteers for. It was taken that way, harsh words followed, and Qorum decided to leave MPW.

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Sorry to hear this. I’d be glad when cooler times prevail for both parties concerned.


JJW

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I’m not sure I follow. Can someone shed context?

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See: Obsidian breadcrumbs plugin - creating directionally-linked notes, i.e. Threading Mode - #13 by anon41602260

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Sad to witness another passionate MPU member go :frowning:

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OK. I see. Thank you.

Too bad the disturbance (a broad and generally unnecessary insinuation) dropped the discussion inadvertently into a sharp resonance mode that apparently shattered someone’s well being to reach the point where we now stand.

Watching over a few years the strong, deep, well-seasoned experience that quorm brings in his postings here and elsewhere, and watching newly the passionate, sincere, open, and honest intensity that ryanjmurphy brings to his postings as well, I have to say the outcome is rather tragic perhaps for both parties as well as for us all.


JJW

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A sad start into a new day for me.

I will miss Quorm and his insights.

Just unnecessary and a reminder to us all to respect each other and to appreciate the views of others also if they aren’t our own. :confused:

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Oh man! :frowning:

I hope Quorm comes back. I always find their answers useful and notice them helping everyone

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Well there’s a worked example of why we all need to look after our stress levels and take time to decompress before jumping to the next thing. It’s a shame that escalated so quickly.
It’s powerful to see from the outside.

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I’m never a fan boy of companies or apps. Shower them with praise when they perform well but criticize the cr@p of out them when they let us down. Hardware and software are to serve us, not the other way around.

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Hi, friends. A few things:

  1. As you can imagine, I lost sleep over this. I regret my actions. Had I known this is how it’d play out, I would have provided a gentler public response and DM’d quorm to take the conversation out of the limelight. Or, who knows, maybe even the latter would have been a bad idea. Like all of us, I’m continually trying to figure out this “family of strangers” thing we call the forum!
  2. Indeed quorm will be missed. He had many great contributions here.
  3. As ever when there’s drama, there’s some context here that is hard to follow if you’re not directly involved. I don’t want to sound mysterious, just… let it be a lesson that we should all try to enter each thread as if it was a brand new world, I guess.
  4. I encourage you to not reflect this on Obsidian or the community there. No one asked me to respond! I’m my own person.

I hope this doesn’t harm my character too much. I am passionate, and I acted in defense of what I perceived as libel against people who have become close friends (much like here!). I really tried to respond professionally and respectfully, but, well, see (1).

I expect the mods will likely shut this thread down eventually, although I appreciate the need for collective sensemaking when something like this takes place.

Until then, you can trade me a Studio Display for a bucket of rotten tomatoes, and I’ll stand over there so you can practice your throw.

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I’d very much like to see this thread not shut down, and I suspect if the conversation continues in the tones present so far, it won’t be.

As you say, this could be a good learning experience - not just for you but for all of us. Politics and religion aren’t generally off-limits at forums because of the topics themselves. They’re generally off limits because when people feel passionately about anything it’s far easier to take and give offense either quickly, unintentionally, or both. Here, like many such situations, it wasn’t politics or religion, but it was a subject about which you felt passionately.

Please don’t hear me saying that I think you did something horribly wrong. From the benefit of hindsight, I think we can say that the private message would have at least been the best place to start. Perhaps, noting the implications of his comments and your level of offense, Quorm would have fixed the public perception problem on his own. Perhaps not. Sometimes offense is unavoidable but trying to go slowly at get as much clarity as possible along the way seems worthwhile.

After one of the many times I’ve been in a similar situation (causing offense) a friend encouraged me to ask more questions. Now, any time I feel like I want to respond very quickly to what someone said (usually to “set the record straight”), I try to ask a question instead. Sometimes they take that opportunity to speak more carefully and precisely. And even if they don’t, at least I have more clarity. Don’t beat yourself up. We all learn and move on. (And then do it again, because we don’t learn anything well the first time :wink: )

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I think your third point is spot on. Reading that thread alone it seems like taking your ball and leaving is an extreme response. I feel like I’ve seen 100s of exchanges like that one. (That’s probably an exaggeration). It just so happened that that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

As @Jezmund_Berserker said, asking questions and clarification is the prudent thing to do when finding your own anger level rising.

I feel for people though. It sucks not being able to apologize for a mistake when someone has left with no forwarding address.

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No one intends to throw stuff. Jesus. Adulteress. Stones. Sinners be we all.

The unwarranted dramatic exit also gives no respect to the unwarranted sense of guilt that has been left behind.

Mutual reconciliation is better than a one-sided apology. Unfortunately, with due respect to quorm, it is his next step that will mend or sustain the fall-out.

And while a few of us probably do have a proverbial forwarding address, it really is on quorm to come to his own terms.


JJW

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You shouldn’t feel bad. Yours was an honest reaction, strongly stated, but not out of line. @quorm had sharp elbows himself in some of his posts so it surprised me that he was so sensitive.

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